Hello Everyone !
A while ago I wrote an article called "Come And Play With Me - The Secrets Of Attraction Part 1."
I guess it's time for part two ! Quite a few people have been emailing me, telling me that they really enjoyed reading the first part of this post.
So here you go :
Are you looking for love ?
If so, have you been trying all sorts of approaches to find the soul mate of your dreams ?
Despite your best efforts, have you come across the same challenges over and over again ?
Do you feel frustrated by putting in plenty of hard work, only to be disappointed time after time ?
Don't worry - help is at hand.
If what you have been doing so far hasn't been working, then guess what :
You need to change your approach.
But Vanessa, where should I start ?
The key is to start somewhere.
Read part 1 of this article. Educate yourself. Read books written by relationship experts. Hire a coach. I am one !
And do something about your situation. Don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself.
Most importantly - leave the house ! The man or woman of your dreams is unlikely to just knock on your door - unless you desperately want to date the Fedex guy. Some of my coaching clients keep telling me that they never meet anyone. When I ask them about their social life, I often discover that it is non-existent. They stay in seven nights a week and spend their evenings watching trashy soap operas.
Hmmm...
But let's look at some of the qualities that make people attractive...
In order to be attractive, you must be fun and spontaneous.
Why ?
Because life sucks !!!
We all work so hard and life brings so many challenges for each of us.
When we come home at the end of a hard working day, we all want a soft space to land.
We want to be able to let go, relax, and just be ourselves.
We want to be around someone who makes us feel good.
Would YOU feel good around someone who is boring, negative and demanding ? And would YOU feel good around someone who constantly criticizes, blames and complains ? Are you likely to feel good around someone who is always serious, never laughs and rarely even smiles ?
I don't think so !
On the contrary - would you feel good around someone who playfully teases you ? Would you feel good around someone who radiates joy, happiness and positivity ? And wouldn't you feel excited to share your time with someone who is spontaneous, fun and full of surprises ? Someone who always has a smile on their face ? Someone who has got the ability to always see the lighter side in things ? Someone who is a bit cheeky and mischievious, who you can have the occasional playfight with ? How about someone who allows you to be your silly self ? Someone who you can really bond with ?
Aha - now we are talking ! That would indeed be a lot better !
So if you want to be with a fun person - then guess what : you will have to lighten up yourself !
Why ?
Because a fun and positive person will be highly unlikely to hang out with a complete whinge - bucket. Why would they ? Nobody is keen to spend their time around someone who only drains their energy ! Life is tough, and we want to surround ourselves with people who add to our energy, rather than taking away from it.
You need to become what you want to attract.
In fact, the principle of becoming what you want to attract applies to all areas of your life :
If you want to date a fitness guru, don't be a complete couch potato. If you want to date a fashion guru, don't wear your 20 year old clothes. And if you want to date someone fun - be positive yourself.
So Vanessa, what should I do now ?
Start to observe your own behaviour.
If you are a positive person already - great. You are on the right path.
But what if you tend to be negative about most things ? Are you the sort of person who constantly criticizes people and complains about everyone and everything ?
When you are in social situations, are you fun, positive and upbeat ? Or are you the one who stands in the corner and sulks ?
If you are always negative, you will have to clean up your act. And if you aren't willing to clean up your act, then guess what : your results are not going to get any better. Nobody wants to be around a negative and draining person.
Watch your own behaviour. Find things to be positive about. Be grateful for the good things that you already have in your life. And let go of trying to be perfect - nobody is perfect anyway. Relax, and the people around you will relax as well.
Learn to be fun, spontaneous and positive - and you will be very likely to attract someone similar into your life - soon !
Did you enjoy reading this article ? Then watch this space -I am just DAYS away from launching a new and exciting product around the subject of dating and relationships. Want a coach ? Hire me at www.vanessabsirskyonline.com
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